The subject today is MRI. I have a few problems with MRIs.
1. Why does it take so damn long?
I guess I just got used to instant results. I love being able to run my own ABGs. I love seeing the change in peak pressure when I put someone in PRVC. I love the sound a patient makes when I do a sternal rub. I'm a instant results kind of guy. I do not love setting in a wheelchair for over an hour trying to find a dance-able beat to the loud MRI machine. Don't get me wrong. I am glad that Downhill Medical Center has the facilities to give the MD exactly the picture they want, I just wish that I didn't have to set in there while it is happening. My ADHD does not approve of me staying in one place for that long. Hell, my ADHD barely allows me to sleep. TGFB!
2. Why is it so damn loud?
I drive a economy car. It gets 35 mpg. It cost $7,500 slightly used about a year ago. It has a muffler. By contrast, according to Wikipedia (it must be true!) "New 1.5 Tesla scanners often cost between $1,000,000 USD and $1,500,000 USD. New 3.0 Tesla scanners often cost between $2,000,000 and $2,300,000 USD." So what? Can't they put an muffler on it. Come to think of it the tech looked like Vin Diesel. Maybe he put one of those "fast and furious" exhaust systems on it. Which brings us back to # 1. Seriously, my ADHD was screaming.
3. Why do I always lose my pen?
When I empty my pockets some shit-bird always steals my pen. At least they leave my wallet.
On to more important things. I've been trying to come up with interesting ways to squeeze the bag during the MRI. I've tried the right handed and left handed power pump and the amazing two handed human ventilator. After my hands tired I did the funky chicken with the bag under each arm. When my wings gave out I tried the official Suzanne Somers thigh master technique. I was just getting bored enough to start the stomp the ambu bag when the door swung open and Vin told me I didn't have to go to ICU but I couldn't stay there.
It could have been worse. There's nothing like a good MRI nap. One hour where you don't have to do anything but breathe for one patient. Your mind tends to wander and you find yourself coming up with stupid names for your bagging technique.
I take it all back, I love MRIs.